oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Are we still banned from the library?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
