that's an acceptable place to lick
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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