Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize