i can't believe i had my finger in that
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
high people should be assigned attendants
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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