Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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