Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?

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(330): View more from Ohio

She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker

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(805): View more from California

You are such a cockblock sometimes

(661): View more from California

You NEED a cockblock sometimes

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(949): View more from California

And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex

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(518): View more from New York

I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights

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(407): View more from Florida

Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.

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(616): View more from Michigan

with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)

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(813): View more from Florida

Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?

(813): View more from Florida

It didn't follow directions.

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