He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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