Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I want a musical about memes.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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