youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
