And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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