My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
