I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize