You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
