shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
