she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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