it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
