My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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