Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
