If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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