new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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