Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize