He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
