Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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