Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
