Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
