So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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