She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
