And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
