just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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