You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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