my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
