I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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