Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
