He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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