I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
