You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ttyl tear gas
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
