also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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