she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
