i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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