Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
