kristin has been a bad kristin
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
