You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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