In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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