Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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