The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mom said you looked used
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
