my mouth tastes like poor choices
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
