Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
