your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
