At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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