idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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