I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
