BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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