my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
