people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
