No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
