She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
