i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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