i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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