bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize