Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
