Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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