Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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