This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
