google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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