i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
