Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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